August 23, 2012 - My heart aches as I write this, but even so, I would not change, or alter, this journey my mom is taking right now because I know how Glorious the result will be.
I wanted to let you all know what is happening, since we know now that we are looking at the end. Most likely a few more days, but no one knows for sure.
She had a slight stroke the 1st week in June, and has been on Hospice since then. The Hospice doctor and nurse let us know that given the circumstances, there was a good possibility she could have another stroke anytime.
Then the weekend of August 10th she apparently had another stroke. She was having difficulty speaking, could no longer walk, was confused and asking for John, etc. We have been so blessed to have Hospice helping us attend to her through all of this.
Just about the time we thought we were losing her, she started improving, getting stronger. She was able to speak again, capable of eating, and responding well. Unfortunately that lasted only a few days and now she has declined to the point where her body is beginning to shut down.
We were all puzzled by her improvement a few days ago, but I now see it as such a beautiful gift from God. Bret and his family, Cory and her family, Howard and his family, along with Dave and I, have all had moments to spend time with her while she could actually speak, smile and communicate. Absolutely a gift!!
I heard someone say recently that “waiting is just a gift of time in disguise – a time to pray wrapped up in a ribbon of patience – because God is never late”! Well, we certainly have been on a journey of ‘waiting’ for some time now, which can be difficult, but we all accept this gift of time as a precious treasure from Heaven.
Mom has always been the kind of person who tried to “live” God’s Word every day. Her favorite Bible verses were Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” She has always trusted Him with her life on a daily basis, and has even more so in these last few years. What a privilege it was to hear dad and mom reading scriptures together at night before climbing in to bed. Then, after dad’s passing she’s continued reading, morning and night, on her own. A legacy of the importance of the Word of God.
Throughout this process of caring for mom, I have often approached God with a broken heart, while also thanking Him for the wonderful mother He gave to me. I am thankful for the blessing of having her as my mom. She’s always displayed unconditional love, compassion, courage and patience despite the many times, I’m certain, I gave her reason to act otherwise!! Even through this season of watching her grow older and lose her strength, I’ve been humbled by how she’s always stayed cooperative, sweet, kind and gentle. Her gracious sweet spirit has always been radiant no matter what.
And now, as I look at her tired, frail and weakened body, I realize that soon she will experience the most exciting moment of her entire life! The moment when she steps out of this world, into Eternity and sees her precious Savior, face to face! No words here on earth could ever express what that will be like. I am convinced my dad is anxiously awaiting her arrival into Heaven and is looking forward to the glorious reunion and Welcome Home party they will have! I can only imagine what a beautiful scene awaits when she sees John, for the first time, along with all the other family members and friends who have been waiting her arrival!
I do believe I love her more now than I did before, which is why it is so difficult to say “Good-bye,” but I rest in God’s perfect peace, knowing that we will be together again one day. I am truly blessed! My voice becomes full of things I cannot say, but as tears come to my eyes, I am reminded of a scripture verse that says “Teach us to number our days…” (Ps. 90:12). I realize more and more that my ordinary days are not, in fact, so ordinary. They are all gifts and blessings from God to be lived fully.
I love you, mom, and I will miss you more than I can express. Thank you for the beautiful Legacy you are leaving your family.
John and Virginia Parker enjoyed 67 years of marriage. They spent their lives together ministering, counseling, mentoring and teaching. You can also join them at www.facebook.com/JohnAndVirginia .
